All I want for Christmas.....

is these freakin drains out! Everyone that has ever done this will tell you the drains SUCK! But they are necessary. When you have parts removed, there is space left behind. Your body fills that space with fluids you have to get rid of them. It's been one week and one day and every day is one step closer. There is no set time because everyones body is different and so far mine says the drains need to stay. I had my follow up with Dr. Mudge yesterday and if you saw my Facebook post I am doing great and everything LOOKS great too! Yes there have been ups and downs adjusting to the meds. Blah! But I stayed in the hospital until we had that straitened out. I thought at most I would be there 2 nights. But it turned out to be 3.  Because my left breast was radiated after chemo 8 years ago it has struggled to keep up with the right one in terms of healing. Yesterday Dr. Mudge gave it the thumbs up and we feel certain it is going to heal and be fine. We have to keep a nitro glycerin paste on it so that the bruising goes away and circulation is restored to make it heal. Remember I have had what is called a nipple sparing mastectomy so we're trying to keep my skin and nipples alive!

In the mean time I am well tended to by nurse Jack and friends and family continue to visit and feed me. The tsunami of love of which I am the recipient is amazing and overwhelming. I have struggled with the terms "inspiration" and "brave".  I just feel like I'm doing what I need to do and what so many have already done and the even bigger challenges than this that people have endured. If I inspire some one that is awesome but I have never set out with that intention.  I so wish to help, guide and advise from my experiences but inspire seems so grand. In reality it seems like a lot of pressure! Haha! I told jack that there are days that I don't want to be an inspiration, I'd rather curl up in a ball and hide from everyone. This I suppose just makes me human. Another one....Brave. Well that implies that maybe I'm scared? I am not scared. These are choices that I have made and I hope to take on all my choices with out fear. That's not to say that I don't have some anxiety or a pity party now and then but again I am human. A title I am willing to accept is Trooper. Surgeries, side effects, set backs, I won't say it's easy by any stretch. I try very hard to be a good patient and not complain too much. So call me a fearless trooper and I'll take it. :)

I'll post again when I have more to say, until then be a warrior in whatever way your life requires. Remember you are awesome, bad ass if you will.  Let everyone know it. XO